I Pay Your Wages!

I wonder how many times I have heard the words "I Pay your Wages!" (1) uttered. Usually as I point out a poor motorists wrongdoings, it is only topped by "Haven't you anything better to do?"(2) or "Haven't you got any burglars to catch?"(3)

These situations can often deteriorate into "I'm going to complain! You will be sitting behind a desk by the end of the week!"(4) or "I'll have your job"(5)

Now you might think that I deserve these comments if I go out of my way to persecute innocent motorists. (You might be right) However next time you get stopped by the police, just remember, I didn't stop you for nothing, and as you hurl your threats and insults at me I am probably just deciding if I can use my discretion and issue a warning for your minor infringement of the law or whether I need to put pen to paper and have a summons issued. (Nuff said?)

Incidentally the answers to the above questions are as follows;

1) Yes you may pay my wages, but since I pay my taxes so do I!

2) Yes I have better things to do, but unfortunately having to deal with you is abstracting me from those much more important duties.

3) Burglars, Yes please, do you know where there are any?

4) Great, thanks, I have been after a nice indoors 9-5 job for years.

5) You can have it now, do you think this uniform will fit you? I will have your shell suit!

© Bob Slot 2007