Sunday, 15 December 2013

Long time no post

I have not posted on here now for over 6 years! Not because I didn't have anything to say. I have more to say now than I ever have. However I felt and still feel that if my identity were to come out I would probably face discipline proceedings for causing dissension within the ranks. In short I don't think that whistle blowers are ever protected in this day and age.

I have one thing to say though.

I have been in the police service for almost 22 years now. And before that served 4 years as a special constable. So 26 Years of my life I have given up to be a public servant.

In that time I could have left, I could have joined the private sector, opened my own business, worked as hard as I have done for the public sector and would have been probably very successful by now.

But I didn't I stuck with the police because I felt I could make a difference, and I paid 11% per month (Now 12.5%) of my wage into my personal pension fund in order to save for my future. The so called 'Gold plated pension' that everyone who doesn't have one seems to think it is!

As I was driving to work the other day at 6.30 am it dawned on me, I am still coming home each month with the same amount of money I was coming home with 10 years ago! How is that right! And this comes as the MP's vote on whether or not they get a 11% pay rise!

Fair? I don't think so!

Sunday, 4 February 2007

Mr Wood and the PR24

I used to go to work with a 12" piece of wood in my trouser pocket, No not for impressing the ladies! for my protection and that of the general public. It was of course a truncheon, or staff as we in the know call it. i.e. "I had to staff him Sarge!" or "I had to draw my staff"

Many's the time that I have been rushing towards that attack alarm at the bank thinking "Now to fend off those shotgun wielding, hard nosed robbers with Mr Wood" (Mr Wood was my pet name for the staff, i.e "I had to introduce him to Mr Wood Sarge!")

The thing with it was although it is obviously ineffective in a gun fight, those people who were unfortunate enough to be introduced to Mr Wood, stayed introduced! I can honestly say, that on the few occasions I had to use it, it did it's job and saved me from getting hurt.

Then, one day several years ago we caught up with the USA in the baton personal protection scheme of things. The Monadnock PR24 Extendable, Side Handled Baton was introduced to police forces across the UK.

Monadnock's representatives were sent over from the USA to oversee the enormous task of making all officers forget their staff training (Hit 'em with it) and substitute it with the PR24 Training (Power Chops, Power Strikes etc).

One of the roll out sessions, attended by senior officers from a number of forces, involved a demonstration of the plastic 'training' baton. This baton was white, and made of a very light plastic so that you could safely hit your colleagues in a training environment without risk of serious injury. So impressed was one of the senior officers that he tried to order several thousand of the 'training' batons so that they could be used as a substitute to the proper one. "It wouldn't hurt the prisoners as much!" was said to be his theory. Apparently the US trainer pulled no punches with his reply "You're F*****G Stupid, you are!"

Anyway, I remember my training and the excitement of receiving my baton, I was like a child in a toy shop, having just been bought a bike and chomping at the bit to ride it! (Not really, I hate scrapping in all honesty and would much prefer not to have to travel around carrying a variety of weapons)

It was to take a while before I did actually have to use it. There I was, faced with a fighting drunk who was threatening to rip my head off and throw it in my face. As he came at me, I already had my baton drawn in the defensive pose (Training see!) and therefore swung it with all my force, the extended end hitting him on the upper arm (A green area! (Training again))

I then stood and watched as the extended end flew through the air, having just sheared off on contact with my assailants limb, leaving me with an even more angry drunk with a slightly sore arm and a broken PR24.

Where was Mr Wood when I needed him? I'd handed him in of course, swapped him for Mr Cheap and Nasty Plastic!

The ending was happy thankfully, but it could have gone a different way.

If I had a TASER at the time, he would have been a prime candidate, it's about time we took the proper weapons out on patrol.

Never take a knife to a gun fight (Or a PR24 for that matter!)

© Bob Slot 2007

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

Lost in Translation

People seek Inspiration in different ways. A colleague of mine likes to print off words of wisdom by various intellectuals and post them up on the wall in his office as a shrine to all things clever.

I think he thinks it makes him look bright, but I doubt he understands any of them. (He certainly doesn't practice their teachings, but that's another story)

Anyway, not one to be outdone, I decided it was time that one of mine went up on the wall of wisdom.

However, what I wanted to post 'Don't let the Bastards Get you down!" is hardly acceptable on a police station wall.

So, being the lateral thinking, 'out of the box, blue sky' type of guy I am, I concoct a cunning plan.

If I were to translate my saying into Russian, who'll know? Ha Ha, it can be my little joke, won't I just be the funniest cop in my chair!

So off I trot to trusty babelfish to translate my text, it works a treat..

Не препятствуйте сволочам получить вас вниз

'Great' thinks I, rubbing my hands together and giggling like a schoolgirl on laughing gas.

Better just translate it back, just to check...

Do not prevent bastards to obtain you downward


Not sure which makes more sense!

It's going on the wall anyway!

© Bob Slot 2007

Sunday, 28 January 2007


Just done a bit of decorating around the blog, a bit old fashioned, I know. But hey' I'm an old fashioned type of guy.

© Bob Slot 2007

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

Wild Geese

Ever get the impression you're wasting your time?

Limit jail sentences, urges Reid

Only a short one today, the wild geese have got out again!

© Bob Slot 2007

Tuesday, 23 January 2007

The Sandwich Toaster

I remember a few years back, when I was in my youth, there was an advert that was often shown on the tv. It was for a sandwich toaster (Could have been a Breville, but my memory is not what it once was) that cut your toasted sandwiches in half and sealed them around the edges, So that they tasted twice as good!

On first seeing that advert, I became one of the converted. Of course, doubling things makes them as twice good! It's obvious isn't it! The evidence is clear to see...

When someone decides to work harder to meet a deadline they Double their efforts!

Those old Bra ad's used to talk of lifting and Separating, now that has to be a good thing surely!

And what could be nicer after a delicious meal than a lovely Banana Split?

So you see, separating, doubling and splitting things is great!

It will therefore be no surprise to you that I am looking forward to the new Home Office Split. This has to be great news! We are going to see a whole new Home office, cut in two, sealed and toasted to perfection... Ummmm I can smell it now!

I recently saw this kind of 'progress' at work, the division was under performing and so to improve our performance and consolidate our efforts we were split, from 2 to 4 Sub-Divisions.

The list of outstanding jobs doubled at about the same time, and never seems to have got any shorter. Chiefs and Indians? I don't know.

Have to go, got to sort out the separation from my wife, explain to my young son how when he is bowling to avoid a 7-10 Split and keep taking the tablets to stop my Double Vision!

Oh wait! I'm confused now.

© Bob Slot 2007